Thursday, January 22, 2009

Eye Opening

Tonight Zac's work took us to the IA game vs. WI....it was a great game, IA won and they were the underdogs, won in overtime, so that was cool. We had a good friend Bonnie babysit and that is always great because we trust her and know that Addie is in wonderful hands when she is watching her.

At half time of the game there was two groups of people that played a mini basketball game. It was fun to watch, but hard...strange....eye opening? I can't really explain my emotions and feelings about it. This group of people were with the special olympics and all had different degrees of mental handicaps. From where we were sitting it was hard to tell if any of them had DS, but pretty sure a couple of them did from their different body shapes, etc...

As soon as I saw them my ears immediately went into defense mode and I was listening to every word being said around me assuming that I was going to hear a rude comment that I was going to have to defend. I did not end up hearing anything, but I just had so many thoughts and feeling go through my head in that 10 minute time frame that they were out there.

I think back to when I was in college and what my reaction would have been, I had not had any interaction with mentally handicapped people, I probably would have just stared, I don't know....I looked into the student section and thought of the many students that were probably getting a kick out of these people that were out playing basketball on the court...it hurt my heart so badly. It hurts even more when I think about how much that time on that big basketball court probably meant to those people. I couldn't see their faces clearly, but you could tell by their guestures and movements that they were having fun and felt like they were on top of the world. That made me smile. To see them so happy and enjoying life, but that happiness quickly turned back to sadness when I thought of how oblivious they were to others stares and thoughts. Oh it just hurts.

I looked at Zac and smiled and said that Addie is going to be in the special olympics someday and I can't wait! She'll be dominating on the basketball court...of course then my friend Molly had to inform me that she would be taking Addie to Special Olympics cheerleading so she wouldn't be playing basketball...we'll have to see about that, molly! =)

I think of those parents that were watching their kids out there, how proud they probably were, how special that 10 minutes had to make them feel. How did those parents handle the looks and the knowledge of what others watching might be thinking...I guess it's one of those things you just don't think about, just cherish the moment and not worry about what others think? I don't know.

Zac asked me what I thought about the half time show on our way home.....we had a good talk about it and both of us shared that we are excited for a time like that for Addie and that we aren't going to care what other think....of course Zac's reaction is that he would just have to hurt anyone who said anything about his little girl (of course he is kidding) but it was a good oportunity for us to see those adults out there living life, and enjoying a moment to shine....very eye opening...

12 comments:

  1. I had to comment here. I want you to know that I have four children, none with special needs....but I know and love several children with DS. They are the most loving, caring people I have ever met in my 36yrs of life. You should never worry about what others say or feel because those people that talk badly, just have never had the opportunity to know a child like your beautiful Addi or those kids on that court. One day, they will (lets hope) and their lives will change for the better.

    I would love to have a child with DS because they are the best kids EVER!

    You, in my eyes are so very lucky to have Addi and I commend you for being the loving parents that you are!

    Rachel

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  2. I'm glad you got to enjoy a night out, those seem few and far between sometimes but they are soo important- and how cool about the added bonus at halftime :)

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  3. You give me Tears and Smiles!!! Love you all much!! lb

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  4. I am glad that you 2 got to go out and what a great game.
    As for the halftime show, you brought up a great point that the athletes were doing what they enjoy doing and I am sure that you hit it right on the head that they were on the top of the world. Many of them have probably come to Hawkeye games and dreamed of playing at Carver. The "We're More Alike" and the exposure that the Palin's brought to the national spotlight with Trig, the publics attitude toward people with special needs is changing for the better. Our children have a much brighter future than last generations.
    Troy

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  5. Um thanks, I need a kleenex now. Guess I just want to encourage you if I can... I spent a lot of time defending my sister, and then one day I realized that I was missing out, not her, and I began spending more time enjoying her enjoyment (I've sat through many Special Olympic events). And you know, it's not just kids with special needs either... my kids have been and will be made fun of too. It's one of those tough parts of parenting.

    Addie is so blessed to have you as her mommy.
    Blessings, and I'll be praying that God continues to show you how to enjoy the enjoyable no matter what the circumstance or surroundings. Love you!

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  6. Um thanks, I need a kleenex now. Guess I just want to encourage you if I can... I spent a lot of time defending my sister, and then one day I realized that I was missing out, not her, and I began spending more time enjoying her enjoyment (I've sat through many Special Olympic events). And you know, it's not just kids with special needs either... my kids have been and will be made fun of too. It's one of those tough parts of parenting.

    Addie is so blessed to have you as her mommy.
    Blessings, and I'll be praying that God continues to show you how to enjoy the enjoyable no matter what the circumstance or surroundings. Love you!

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  7. I can imagine your mixed emotions. I have very mixed emotions these days when I see adults with Ds out in the world. On the one hand, it gives me a sense of comfort that they are out there, living, functioning, etc. On the other hand, it is still very difficult for me to imagine Finn as a grownup . . . as a grownup with a disability.

    Anyway, it sounds like the experience was a positive one for you - I'm glad.

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  8. We can't wait to hear about Addie's athletic achievements. However, we were thinking she might be a GREAT soccer player too! :) Actually Addie is already a star! She has brightened the world of so many people without even knowing it or trying to. As you know - we had five children, none with disabilites. All five were great at something. Some were good athletes and some were scholars. Each with different levels of abilities and guess what - we love them all the same and they are all wonderful human beings no matter what anyone else thinks. We are very proud of you and Zach. You are wonderful parents and Addie is a GREAT addition to your wonderful family. Keep smiling and trust in your faith - that is what is important. Love, the Sioux City Sandmans

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  9. I just found your blog through Sarahs. Addie is so cute and I just love that name. Hopefully talk to you soon, Lacey and Jax

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  10. Thank you so much for the comment on my blog! I have had many opportuinities to look at post op pictures and my heart is always broken. These poor little kids shouldnt have to go through so much!! How long did she have to stay in the hospital? We have been told a week to 10 days. Keep checking our blog for updates!!

    Erin (my name is erin too)

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  11. you think only zac is going to hunt them down??haha i don't even think about the ignorance of people.i know that little girl is going to change the world!oh and yes..she WILL be a basketball player..a track star..a softball star and a singer:)but most of all she will just be addie..sweet perfect little addie!:)it warms my heart to see the special olympics.as a parent you learn not to see the differences in children.every parent loves their child, and every person who comes into contact with the children should too!congrats on y9ur job!i think it is a VERY good fit for you and your family!!love you guys!savannah and lawrence love to come to your blog!they both exclaim "There's Adelynn awwww!"

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  12. Erin and Zac, I remember going through the same thoughts and emotions that you described. Your heart is torn between fear and pride. As Nathan has grown up the past (almost) 10 years, we don't give it a second thought that he as Down syndrome when we are out in public. It's become "normal" for us. I don't notice the stares anymore and I no longer worry about what others think of him. You talked about your college years and how you would have reacted...there will be much less stigma by the time Addie reaches that age because our kids are more and more included in the regular classroom. This leads to more acceptance, advocacy, and friendships amongst the peers. Those peers will be much, much more comfortable around others who have disabilities. My advice to you is to try not to think too far ahead and enjoy her. Not everyone is staring...and if they are, they could just be thinking how beautiful Addie is!!

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