Thursday, October 2, 2008

Day 2 of 31 for 21!

So at 2:57am our little girl arrived very quietly. As soon as I looked at her I knew she had Down syndrome. I asked the doctor if she had Down syndrome and his reply was that he hadn't gotten a chance to look at her yet but initially, she did look to have some of the features of DS. She had the cord wrapped around her neck 3 times, but Zac was able to cut the cord before they wisked her off to start giving her oxygen.

You see, to this day it still gives me goosebumps. My Lord and Savior was preparring me for that moment when I got to meet my baby girl. Throughout my pregnancy the main thing that would come to my head when I was being a worry wart was that she was going to have DS. I would always just try to put it out of my head, but it was constantly there. I even went online one night to research DS after Zac had went to bed. Of course, no pregnant woman wants to entertain any sort of these thoughts. I even thought that after the second ultrasound that the Dr. would be telling us she had DS, but it never happened. I think I asked him several times if the ultrasound came back normal...and it had. Call it mother's intuition, or whatever you want, but I know God was preparing me.

So I laid there helpless while they gave oxygen to this new life. I have never been so scared in my life. Finally I heard a little cry and they were able to wrap her up and bring her to me. I was sobbing. I was in shock, I was scared, and I didn't know what to do. My Dr. let me know that all of the feelings I was having were completely normal. That I would need time to grieve for the baby we thought we were having. Zac remained so strong and still does to this day. I know God gave him the strength to get us through that time and continues to give him the strength as we move forward. I held my little girl and just kept looking at her wondering if she really did have DS. Zac and I were able to hold her for a while before they had to take her to get blood work done. We called our parents and let them know that Adelynn had arrived and that she had an extra chromosome. My parents were already on their way to the hospital and arrived in time to see her and mom and Zac helped the Dr.'s with keeping her still while they did the Echo and my dad stayed with me and helped to console and to just give me the love from my father that I needed.

It was several hours before I got to see her again. They had brought an incubator bed into my room to let me know she was having trouble maintaining her temp and she would be in this bed to help regulate her temp, but she never even made it back into my room before the neonatologist and the pediatric cardiologist were in the room talking to Zac and I and my parents about the findings of the Echo and that Addie was now up in the NICU and would be there for what could be 3-4 weeks.

The Dr.'s left and I continued sobbing. My parents and Zac tried to console me. I didn't understand why this was happening to us. I didn't think I could do it. Just typing this out bring back so many emotions. Wow...

My mom and dad went up to be with Addie so she would not ever be without someone with her in the NICU. Once I had gotten my bearings about me and had my pain under control I was able to be wheeled up to the NICU. I got to her room as the nurse was just finishing putting in Addie's feeding tube. My mom had warned me that she was hooked up to a lot of tubes, but I just wasn't ready for this. She had only been in this world for a couple of hours and had already been through so much. She had oxygen going into her nose, and IV in her hand, and the feeding tube. It was so hard. I was able to finally hold her and take in her smell and the way she felt in my arms. It was then that I knew that I could do this, Zac and I were going to be OK and Addie was a gift from God and we were going to be a family. It was this moment that I fell in love with my little girl and knew she was truly a blessing.


  1. wow- your little miss is quite the doll! I swung over to see who you know that I know (through the modern wonder of internet 'know' them that is) and it could be a few different folks. We live in Champaign to answer your question. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story :)

  2. The shock of having your baby swept away is so hard. Not what any mother dreams of.
    I love reading how you found a way to calm down and finally just be her mom and love her.

  3. What a great story and I'm looking forward to more! I know how hard it is to watch your baby all hooked up to scary stuff - not good. So glad you're on the other side though :).

    Hey, I'm sending you a blog award! Go check my blog to get it!

  4. I can imagine how raw your emotions must be after only 3 months, thanks for taking the time to share her/your story!

  5. Reading this brings back so many raw memories. Thank you for sharing your story. It will be a blessing to many others.