Friday, February 19, 2010


Random ramblings of what's in my head today....

Contentment. Just trying to be content with what we have and what God has given us. That has been my goal lately. I realized over the last couple of months that I get myself so worked up over what Addie is and isn't doing. Why is she sticking her tongue out so much, why is she moving her hand like that, why isn't she walking, why isn't she talking, why isn't she signing more....and then I ask if I am doing enough. Enough PT, OT, ST, working with her on signs, working on walking, working on talking, etc....and I have come to realize that I have NO control in this. NONE. ZIP. ZERO. NONE.

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipeans 4:6-7.

peace that transcends understanding......peace. Peace to know that God is looking out for our better good. Addie's best interest. Whatever is going to be best for her. He is going to make it happen. He is in charge. He is the ultimate therapists. Sure all the therapy helps, but in the's all up to Him. So what am I getting at? I really don't know actually. It's just my thoughts today and it is really giving me a great amount of peace.

Addie has been sick on and off all winter. Croup, pneumonia, then croup again, and now this nasty virus that just won't go away. And I worry, and worry, and worry. But I'm done with that...I'm giving it up and giving it to the Almighty Physician. Today I can be worry free and hopefully tomorrow and the next day...we shall see but I can't run myself ragged over thinking I'm not doing enough for her. If she doesn't walk by my sisters wedding on July 31st, then she won't and it will be just fine. God is in control.

I find it so interesting that so many people are into whatever is bigger, better, more expensive. And it is SOOOO very easy to get to that frame of mind. Recently Zac and I started looking at building a new house. It is what we desire in the next several years but thought maybe it was time now....and then in all of it I realize there was absolutely no reason for us to move. To don't have to worry about school districts yet, we like our neighbors, we have a great neighborhood, we have more than plenty of room, so why would we move right now? Because we thought we needed bigger and better...yeah, NOT a reason to move. So here we are going to stay. Content. Our basement remodel is almost done and then we'll have that project complete. And we can be content, not wanting more, not wishing we had better. And really, I am completely fine with that.

I challenge anyone who reads this to focus on being content today. It is a challenge, it isn't always easy. But when you find it, it's really quite nice. Good luck! =)


  1. Amen. You've got the right perspective. And we had hoped that Braska would walk by my sister's wedding last May, and it didn't happen, though she was able to make it down the aisle between two of my other sisters who were junior bridesmaids. It wasn't the most pretty thing, I admit, but she made it and that's an accomplishment. She's still not walking, and I'm actually fine with it. No hurry, not for me. I'll have plenty of time to chase her around as she gets into trouble...I'm ok to wait if she is. :o)

  2. Erin, Your honesty and transparency and faith are refreshing. If it helps at all, please know that much of what you are feeling is common to ALL moms! All moms fight the urge to compare their child's performance to others. All moms worry about their baby's development. All moms worry whether their kid will be "________ enough" by the next big family event. I am so proud of you for turning all these anxieties over to the only Prince of Peace who can handle them. But also be comforted knowing that you are a normal mom feeling normal things. Don't feel isolated, misunderstood, or psycho. :) Love your heart!

  3. You are so right Erin.. we cant make our kids do anything faster no matter HOW much therapy we put them through. they will do it on their own time clock....but always remember they WILL do it :) I think your Addie is pretty amazing:)

  4. I'm so happy to have found your blog again! I used to read it and see how our babies were doing...mine is similar in age to Addie.

    When "catching up," I noticed this entry, and I just wanted to see if Addie has been in better health since you wrote it in February. Please get her a blood test if she is still struggling with health. I'm sure they've already done one or several.
    But, it was croup and pneumonia-like symptoms (and oxygen sats of 60) that led us to the discovery of our baby's leukemia. He has Down syndrome and had a heart defect that was repaired.

    I'm not trying to scare you, but the lines about her croup and pneumonia just brought me back to the end of November and the diagnosis on December 2.